Conquer

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Me speaking in front of prominent people of our town. Photo credits to the FB of our beloved Board Member of the First District of Cagayan, Ma’am Olive B. Pascual.

Have I written in my previous blog that I have fear of speaking infront of even the smallest group of people? What more if you are tasked to speak to some of the most prominent people of your municipality or even the whole province? What would you feel speaking to people older and wiser than you?

It was already 1:30 in the morning of December 14, 2016 when I was able to come home from a work related report that we needed to rush and finish to pass on that same day. Because of the team effort from our boss and us, we were able to finish it on time. When I arrived home late, sleeping was very hard for me (insomniac moment) so I only got my sleep at around 3:30 in the morning. I intended not to go to work that day but in unexpected circumstance, my phone rang and I got text messages from my boss instructing me on something. Because I’m a diligent and responsible person, I need to do what my boss tell me even though he promised that I need not to go to work to this day.

I was clueless on what will I do this day based from the instruction of my boss plus include my having a lightheadedness and being woozy from the lack of sleep. As per instruction, he said that I’m the only one who knows about the book we are making for each barangays in the municipality (I feel flattered from that kind of compliment. char) so I need to present such infront of the barangay captains who were having a meeting in our Multi-Purpose Hall. My boss asked me if I can do it? Being my own self, I doubted of course so I answered him I don’t know if I can. But he said I can and I know at the back of my head that I needed to brave myself to conquer my fears. I went at the meeting of the Liga ng Mga Barangay late because I needed to read first the presentation I am showing them.  Then came my time to speak when our beloved Board Member entered the room. That added my nervousness of course. What I am worried more is that I will be rattled in stating her name and it will be very embarrassing on my part. Of course, I need to stay calm and not show them how my heart was beating so fast, how my hands are so cold and how I am sweating profusely. I always get that symptoms of nervousness whenever I speak in front of many people and the people I am talking too are the important people of our municipality. Included in my nervousness too is that I need to present them minus the presentation I prepared. This will be an impromptu presentation.

After the presentation, I felt consumed. My energy is as low as you could imagine. But even if that was the case, I still felt proud of myself. I was able to speak to them in my calmest self, I was able to deliver them in the best I could be or in a way they could apprehend what I am saying about, I did not rattle especially the names of these people, and most especially I CONQUERED MY FEAR. I was not to there to impress but to convey the message I want them to understand and I believe that I was able to do it. I am no expert at public speaking but I felt I did well this time. This boosted my confidence a little bit even though it’s already innate in me being timid and still having fears about it. I still am not looking forward on having public engagements or sort of because i am like that but when there come a time that the same will happen, I know I have this kind of experience to back me up.

“It’s alright to have fears because this will remind yourself that you’re also human but there are times that you need to conquer them too so that a better you will come out victorious.”

 

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